🌹To the young people asking us what relationship after getting married is like, this long read is for you.
When me and Kevin was still dating, we felt like the hours and days are long when we were apart.
We couldn’t keep our hands off each other when we were together, and we already missed each other’s presence the moment we bid goodbye.
It aches until we see each other again the next day (since we are just officemates)
Then we got married. And the feeling of being apart is gone. We were together during the day, during commute, at dinner, after dinner. We were together when we sleep and woke up. All day, every day even on weekends and holidays.
We already realized that being familiar to each other and being together all the time can really make our relationship monotonous and less fun. It wasn’t that we didn’t love each other that much but things are getting less exciting.
So we learned a lesson that has helped us keep looking forward to our time together.
We let the sunshine into our marriage.
Both of us need time in the sun to grow. Our relationship needs basking in sunshine to be healthy.
We gave each other time alone to pursue life and interests we individually have but don’t necessarily share.
We both work. I left the company where we both work. We have a separate workplace now. We share stories about each other’s experience and about our officemates. We have our own exciting naratives to share every evening and it makes us awake til midnight.
Kevin is a talented keyboardist; a gifted musician, I say. On weekends, i woke up finding him occupied with his noise cancelling headphone studying the songs he will play in his next gig. While I on the other side, reading Quora, working on my blog and sometimes exploring on a new side hustle.
He likes reading Manga and watching Anime series while me.. I just like to read or shop in Shopee 😂
He has his own set of friends. I have mine. He sometimes invite me to join with his friend’s gathering like watching the next Avenger series and vice versa. We were never obliged to be included in each other’s activity.
We enjoy dining outside and traveling together.
So most days we’re apart during the day. Doing our own thing. Growing in the sun.
When we meet up in the evening we both are looking forward to our evening walk where we catch up on the day. Enjoy hearing of each other’s adventures.
And treasure our evening and night together until the next morning when we each walk into the sunshine again.
Both of us, feeling gratitude for another day together.
Closeness in a marriage isn’t built by always being together but giving time to be apart.